I'm going to jail i love you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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