I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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