Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
