You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
