She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
