What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
