New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
