And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I need water and some morals
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
