If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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