I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
