I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
