How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All the doctor said was why
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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