Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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