when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
