doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
