I think I am morally bankrupt
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
