dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
