I just pynch a tree in the face
i was born a porn star she said
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
