I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
