so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she told me i tasted like america
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
