I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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