1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
