i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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