just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
