McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
