Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
