finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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