Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
