the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
