My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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