Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
