i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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