I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You may now shotgun with the bride
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
