This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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