i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
