Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
