And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
