Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
