They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
