i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
