oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you would pick up someone in the library
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
