you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
