Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
