Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
