Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
