Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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