Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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