Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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