with your own penis?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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