My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
